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Unger Suspicion

Winnipeg Couple Plans ‘Nice, Warm, Tropical Vacation’ on Mars

January 28, 2019 Andrew

MARS After temperatures in Winnipeg drop below -30 degrees, local couple, Lois and Peter Doerksen, decided they “had enough of the cold” and are packing their bags and heading for the “balmy weather of Mars.” […]

Unger Suspicion

Blue Bombers Proudly Hoist ‘Sunday School Attendance’ Trophy

November 18, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a loss to the Calgary Stampeders this afternoon, the Winnipeg Blue Bomber season has come to an end yet again, and yet again this year, the club is excited to have achieved […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main Barricades to be Moved to Main and Brandt

October 24, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB It seems that Steinbach has taken a cue from it’s larger neighbour to the north and has decided to barricade Main and Brandt and force pedestrians to cross the intersection through poorly-lit pathways […]

The Daily Bonnet

Winkler Man Drives All the Way to Winnipeg with His Turn Signal On

September 29, 2018 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Peter Sawatzky, 72, is being hailed as a hero in Winkler this week after successfully driving all the way to the Costco on McGillvray with his right turn signal on. “I […]

Unger Suspicion

Portage and Main to be Accessed Exclusively by Blizzards and Ice Storms

September 26, 2018 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The votes are in and Winnipeg has decided overwhelmingly to restrict access to its most famous intersection to anything other than fierce winds, massive blizzards, devastating ice storms and maybe a tornado or […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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