Authorities Seize Mennonite Woman’s Dangerous Looking Pickle Spears


Avid canner Tina Kroeker was held for questioning at the border this week after the discovery of a large collection of dangerous looking pickle spears.

“They asked if I had any weapons,” said Kroeker. “I guess I shouldn’t have been so forthright with my answers.”

According to international law, such objects cannot be transported across the border and must always be contained in a proper receptacle.  

“I guess I’ll have to be more careful next time,” said Kroeker. “I’m just glad they didn’t find my cheese curds. Apparently those are now considered a projectile of sorts.”

Kroeker says she also plans to change the way she cuts her pickles. 

“I get it. The ends can be mighty sharp,” said Kroeker. “But one thing I will not compromise is the level of dill. Arrest me if you want, but my pickles will always remain dill-licious.”

Capacity at Mulroney Funeral Reduced to 2 Seats
New Steakhouse to Offer Extra Tough and Chewy Steak 'Just the Way Mennonites Like It'