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winkler

The Daily Bonnet

Ditsied Outpaces Jantsied in Race to Get ‘Jeimpft’

July 10, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. Siemens of Winkler has been refreshing the regional vaccine percentage page every few hours or so, trying to see if his Jantsied squad has a chance of catching up with the Ditsieders […]

Unger & Thirst

Winkler Pastor Finally Approves Going for Shots in Morden

June 7, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Pastor Dave has finally given the green light for Winklerites to “go have shots in Morden”. First in line was Susan Froese, 35, who had been waiting for this announcement for quite some […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Reads Through the Entire Bible Just Driving Back and Forth Between Winkler and Morden

April 4, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Klaas Bergmann, 57, of Plum Coulee has successfully completed his goal of reading through the entire Bible in a year simply by driving back and forth on Highway 14. “I made it through […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lineup Outside Newly Reopened Dollar Store Stretches All the Way from Winkler to Steinbach

February 13, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER or STEINBACH, MB As stores offering non-essential items such as helium balloons, cotton swabs, colourful napkins, and hair ties reopen in Manitoba, the lineup outside dollar stores has grown to enormous lengths. So long […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mysterious Metal Monolith Appears in Front of Winkler Co-op

December 2, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Strange metallic objects have been popping up at significant sites across the world in the past few weeks. A shiny metal monolith in the parking lot by the Co-op in Winkler is the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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