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The Daily Bonnet

Hottest Day in History Has Mr. Friesen Considering a Name Change

July 8, 2023 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Days after scientists reported the hottest day in the earth’s history, area man Dick Friesen is considering changing his name to “more accurately reflect the current state of affairs.” “Diewel, it’s hot out,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Newfoundland’s Dyck-Shaped Iceberg Goes Viral

April 29, 2023 Andrew

ST. JOHN’S, NFLD A massive Dyck-shaped iceberg off the coast of Newfoundland has gone viral this week, as iceberg lovers claim they’ve never seen anything like it before. “Icebergs come in all shapes and sizes,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Spring is Here! Manitobans Excited for Only 8 More Weeks of Winter

March 22, 2023 Andrew

KILLARNEY, MB It’s the beginning of spring and, you know what that means – only 8 more weeks of winter here in Manitoba. “I always love this time of year,” said Garth Reimer of Killarney. […]

Unger Suspicion

Bruce Springsteen to Finally Experience a Winnipeg Winter

February 15, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB More than 50 years into his career, rock icon Bruce Springsteen will finally be experiencing a Winnipeg winter later this year and local fans are excited at the prospect. “We’ve been trying to […]

Unger Games

Mennonite Couple Spends Delightful Holiday Weekend on Toronto Tarmac

December 28, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The Thiessens were all packed up and ready to visit their relatives in Manitoba this week, but decided at the last minute to spend the entire week on a lovely Toronto tarmac instead. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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