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Unger & Thirst

Wonder Oil to be Added to Town Drinking Water

June 21, 2017 Andrew

BLUMSTEIN, MB Decades after fluoride was controversially added to the drinking water of many English communities, the small town of Blumstein, Manitoba has become the first in the region to pump Wonder Oil into the […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide

June 7, 2017 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Reverend Jim, eager to increase his baptism numbers for the year, baptized more than five hundred people without their knowledge, during a church event at the local waterpark. “They zipped pass me and […]

Unger & Thirst

Maid of Honour Toasts Bride With Glass of Water

May 24, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Guests at the Harder-Peters wedding this past weekend were busy enjoying a pleasant Mennonite meal in the church basement when it was time for the toasts to the bride and groom. “I’ve known Cynthia […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Prophet Turns Wine Into Water

May 12, 2017 Andrew

KLEEFELD, MB Self-proclaimed miracle worker and sage Peter P. Peters wowed attendees at a Mennonite family gathering this past week by turning all of the wine into water. “I’d never seen anything like it,” said Abram […]

The Daily Bonnet

Manitoba Man Prepares Ark for Annual Spring Thaw

March 16, 2017 Andrew

ST. CRISTOPHE, MB Local man Dale B. Unrau, 52, is busy getting his ark into tip-top shape for the annual spring melt. As temperatures rise, so does the risk of turning southern Manitoba into a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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