Murder Hornets Not Nearly So Scary When You Call them ‘Mord wille Bie’


In an effort to get everyone to chill a little, local officials have started referring to the notorious murder hornets by their Plautdietsch name, which is seen to be more hilarious than scary.

“Call it a murder hornet and people are boarding up their houses and running around in a panic,” said local entomologist Mr. Mierau, “but call it a Mord wille Bie and people just crack up. There’s just something about Plautdietsch that does that.”

Locals were greatly relieved to know that their town was being invaded not by murder hornets but by nothing but a swarm of Mord wille Bie.

“Oh, oh, look, it’s the Mord wille Bie!” said local man Mr. Fehr, laughing and taunting the poor little hornets. “What’s next, an invasion of the Nuade Papiea Wausp!”

Operating under the theory that everything is much funnier and not taken very seriously when worded in Low German, local governments have also started to refer to their majchtijch Defizit and nich to vestohne Onnjletjchsfaul. 

“Not only does it sound funny,” said a local MP, “but hardly anyone has a clue what we’re talking about…unless they happen to have a Jack Thiessen dictionary handy.”

Plautdietsch dictionary sales reached record highs this week as people scrambled to find out just what was so darn funny.

(photo credit: Gary Alpert/CC)

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