Mennonite Pastor Baptizes Hundreds of Total Strangers at Local Waterslide


Reverend Jim, eager to increase his baptism numbers for the year, baptized more than five hundred people without their knowledge, during a church event at the local waterpark.

“They zipped pass me and I prayed,” explained Jim. “I was able to do about four or five a minute.”

Reverend Jim explains that he added their names to the church registry as soon as the big splash at the bottom made it official.

“Never before has there been such an efficient method of bringing people into church membership,” said Jim. “If they screamed, I took that as a clear affirmation of all the church teachings.”

Jim’s assistant Dave handed out bonnets and suspenders to the unwitting baptismal candidates while they were drying off.

“They may not know it yet, but they’re all Mennonites now,” said Jim. “I sure hope they like platz.”

(photo credit: by m01229/CC)

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