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Unger Suspicion

Sump Pump Awarded Order of Manitoba

May 5, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB A sump pump from North Kildonan has been awarded the Order of Manitoba this year for its “meritorious service towards the well-being of the residents of Manitoba.” “It’s quite the honour,” said the […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Plans to Totally Fe’schlucke Herself Friday Night

April 28, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area woman Alice Braun has been anticipating the ‘Mennonites Laughing’ event at McNally Robinson on Friday night and is already fe’schlucking herself in preparation. “Andrew Unger? Armin Wiebe? Even Corny Rempel yet?” said […]

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Builds New Confederation Bridge to Compete with the One in PEI

April 26, 2022 Andrew

LORETTE, MB The province of Manitoba has recently declared a gravel service road next to the Trans Canada Highway near Lotette as “Confederation Bridge West” after recent rain storms. “This gravel road surrounded by water […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Orders Every Liquid on the Menu

January 17, 2022 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local woman Diane Schmidt, 66, of Calgary was at her neighbourhood Humpty’s on Sunday morning for what she thought was a simple cup of coffee but instead became the most impressive marathon of […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach Installs New Water Treatment Plant to Make All their Water Taste Just Like Niverville’s

November 5, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB After months of consulting water sommeliers in neighbouring Niverville, a massive new water treatment plant opened in Steinbach this week, which promises to provide locals with “the distinct bouquet and mouthfeel of authentic […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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