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The Daily Bonnet

Winkler to Implement New ‘ArriveVankla’ App

September 22, 2022 Andrew

VANKLA, MB Just as the federal government is set to scrap the glitchy ArriveCan app, the city of Winkler has decided to add a new “ArriveVankla” app for all visitors from Jantsied or Morden yet […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Men Return from European Vacation with a Few New Habits

September 2, 2022 Andrew

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS This summer Henry Bueckert, 71, and his son Jack, 45, decided it was about time to visit the place where their ancestors came from, but little did they know, however, that they’d come […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Amazing Race Canada’ Contestants Super Excited to Fly Over Manitoba Yet Again

August 31, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After visiting every small town in the Canadian Rockies this season, Amazing Race Canada participants opened their envelopes to discover they’d be flying right over Manitoba this week. “Oooh, where are we going […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Travellers Required to Dispose of Roll Kuchen Before Boarding

July 27, 2022 Andrew

LANGHAM, SK The security line at the Langham International Airport was around the block this weekend after the federal government passed a new law requiring all Mennonites to dispose of their roll kuchen and syrup […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Left in Awkward Position After Neighbouring Passenger Falls Asleep on His Shoulder

July 15, 2022 Andrew

GOSHEN, IN On a flight from South Bend to New York City this week, local man Arthur Yoder was left in a really awkward position after a neighbouring passenger fell asleep on the Mennonite man’s […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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