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The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassing New Photos Catch Casey and Finnegan at Nudist Colony

April 29, 2021 Andrew

PATRICIA BEACH, MB As temperatures soared this week, thousands of Canadians flocked to the beach for some summer fun. For famed CBC stars Casey and Finnegan it was their first time showing their true colours. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites are All Sharing the Same Netflix Password

March 31, 2021 Andrew

INMAN, KS A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of […]

Unger Suspicion

Efforts Intensify to Dislodge Fred Penner from Log

March 27, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Efforts to dislodge beloved children’s entertainer Fred Penner from a log in an undisclosed location intensified on Saturday afternoon. “For years he’s gone in and out of that log without issue, but somehow […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandma Eager to Start ‘Remote Learning’

March 20, 2021 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK When her local school announced they would be going to “remote learning” this semester, Mrs. Wiebe of Swift Current was eager to sign up for the course. “I’ve struggled with that remote […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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