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television

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Man Awarded Presidential Medal of Freedom for Lasting All 20 Seasons Without Watching the Kardashians

June 15, 2021 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Dueck, 37 of Seminole, Texas is being granted the Presidential Medal of Freedom this week for becoming the sole American survivor of the Kardashian years. “He is a beacon of hope in […]

Unger Suspicion

Montrealers Just Don’t Take Cops Seriously Anymore After Decades of ‘Just for Laughs’ Gags

May 31, 2021 Andrew

MONTREAL, QC Residents of Canada’s second largest city simply do not take cops seriously anymore after decades of the popular TV show Just pour rire: Les Gags. Mr. Tremblay, for example, was pulled over for going […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbachers Elect Peter Falk as New MP

May 26, 2021 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Continuing their longstanding tradition of electing Falks and Barkmans, residents of Steinbach have resoundingly decided to send Peter Falk to Ottawa. “We were happy with Ted, but when we heard we could get […]

Unger Suspicion

Embarrassing New Photos Catch Casey and Finnegan at Nudist Colony

April 29, 2021 Andrew

PATRICIA BEACH, MB As temperatures soared this week, thousands of Canadians flocked to the beach for some summer fun. For famed CBC stars Casey and Finnegan it was their first time showing their true colours. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Thousands of Mennonites are All Sharing the Same Netflix Password

March 31, 2021 Andrew

INMAN, KS A recent investigation had concluded that every single Penner, Friesen, and Funk in the state of Kansas are all sharing the same Netflix account. “It’s believed to have started with Abe Penner of […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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