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The Daily Bonnet

“I don’t not love Winkler,” says Michael B. Jordan

March 4, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB In a rarely-seen clip that was cut from the TV broadcast, Hollywood superstar Michael B. Jordan claimed he doesn’t “not love Winkler,” this according to Mr. Plett who’s been telling everyone about at […]

Unger Suspicion

‘Amazing Race Canada’ Contestants Super Excited to Fly Over Manitoba Yet Again

August 31, 2022 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After visiting every small town in the Canadian Rockies this season, Amazing Race Canada participants opened their envelopes to discover they’d be flying right over Manitoba this week. “Oooh, where are we going […]

Unger Suspicion

Lisa LaFlamme Offered Job at The Daily Bonnet

August 17, 2022 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON After being unceremoniously fired this week, former CTV news anchor Lisa LaFlamme has been offered a job hosting a new 11 o’clock Daily Bonnet broadcast which promises, for the very first time, to […]

Unger Conviction

Hillsong Documentary Crew Turns Lens on Tiny Mennonite Country Church

July 29, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENGART, SK Fresh off the success of their Hillsong documentary, the Discovery Channel is now pointing its lens at the tiny Blumengart EMBCCMCBB church in rural Saskatchewan. “We spent six months there with hidden cameras […]

Unger Suspicion

Fraser Valley Renamed ‘Frasier Valley’ After Kelsey Grammer Visit

July 20, 2022 Andrew

GREENDALE, BC A recent visit to the region by 90s sitcom star Kelsey Grammer has caused such a stir that locals have petitioned authorities to rename the area ‘Frasier Valley.’ “We’ve never had such a […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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