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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Fits Entire Bag of Spitz in His Mouth at Once

October 3, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Area man Steve Toews, 38, is being hailed as a local hero this week after he stuffed an entire bag of dill pickle Spitz in his mouth at once. “It was the church […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Totally Hooked on ‘Mennonite Marijuana’

August 14, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Even though more potent product is now legal for use in Canada, nothing can stop Mr. Klassen, 83, from chowing down “Mennonite marijuana” every chance he can get. “I get this stuff so […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings Inferior Zoat to Bonfire

May 31, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Local man Richard Dyck, 57, is facing a slew of criticism this week after bringing something other than Ronnie’s knackzoat to a local bonfire. “I don’t know what came over that man. If […]

Unger & Thirst

How To Knack Your Zoat While Wearing A Mask

May 24, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Researchers at the University of Jantsied have spent the past two months solving the greatest challenge facing Mennonites these days: how to knack your zoat while wearing a face mask. Thanks to the […]

Unger & Thirst

Poll: What is Your Favourite Flavour of Knackzoat?

June 7, 2019 Andrew

It’s knackzoat season again. Gone are the days when all you had was a plain Papsi and lightly salted zoat. There are so many varieties these days, I’ve got the zoat sweats just thinking about […]

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