The Unger Review
  • Sections
    • The Daily Bonnet
    • Headline Contest
    • Unger Conviction
    • Unger Games
    • Unger the Influence
    • Unger Suspicion
    • Unger & Thirst
  • Mennotoba
  • The Daily Bonnet
  • The Best of the Bonnet
  • About
  • Merch
  • Andrew Unger

sunflower seeds

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Hasn’t Knacked Zoat All Year

January 3, 2023 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades as one of Winkler’s top zoat knackers, area man Art Harder, 71, is really proud of himself for resisting the urge to knack zoat all year. “Things were getting out of […]

Unger & Thirst

Protestors Toss Borscht at Van Gogh Painting

October 20, 2022 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Protesting the high cost of sunflower seeds, angry Mennonites hurled margarine containers of warmed-up cabbage borscht at the giant Van Gogh painting in Altona, Manitoba this morning. “Well, they attempted to, anyway,” said […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Tucks His Beloved Ronnie’s Into Bed For the Night

July 30, 2022 Andrew

WINKLER, MB After decades of searching for love with no success, local man Arnold Hiebert, 63, has finally found his lifelong companion. Arnold is now officially betrothed to a bag of Ronnie’s Jumbo dill pickle […]

Unger & Thirst

Faint Line Indicates Presence of Knackzoat in the Blood

April 24, 2022 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK Mr. Derek Wiebe of Waldheim, Saskatchewan is just one in a long line of local residents who’ve tested positive for knackzoat in recent weeks. “I waited the full 15 minutes and it was […]

Unger Suspicion

Heather Stefanson Finds Huge Mound of Zoat Left Over in Premier’s Office

November 2, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After two months in office, Manitoba’s first Mennonite premier sure knacked a lot of zoat. This, according to new premier Heather Stefanson, who had to hire a backhoe to remove all of Kelvin […]

Posts pagination

« 1 2 3 … 5 »
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram

More from the unger review

  • Guess the New Name of The Daily Bonnet
    January 22, 2023
  • Census Shows 96% of Canadian Men are Named Gord
    July 1, 2022
  • National League Adopts ‘Designated Menno’ Rule
    March 16, 2022
  • Winkler Finally Embraces Sundae Shopping
    August 20, 2025
  • Like and Share if You Think People Should Stop Indicating their Agreement by Liking and Sharing
    September 5, 2018

SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

HOME OF

Copyright © 2026 The Unger Review - All Rights Reserved