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summer

Unger Suspicion

Manitoba Government Declares Winter Over as of March 1

March 3, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Despite a preponderance of evidence to the contrary, winter is officially over, according to the Manitoba government who picked March 1 as the “first day of spring.” “What the heck? I’ve still got […]

Unger Suspicion

BC Couple Super Proud of Their Lovely Brown Lawn this Year

July 24, 2021 Andrew

BLACK CREEK, BC Always eager to show off their green thumbs, Mr. and Mrs. Driedger of Black Creek, British Columbia have been posting photos of their delightful dead grass throughout the summer. “Just look at […]

The Daily Bonnet

Abbotsford Relatives Rush to Manitoba Where There’s Air Conditioning

July 1, 2021 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC The mass exodus seems to be reversing itself, as thousands of Mennos from the Fraser Valley are flocking back to Manitoba where homes come equipped with luxuries such as you know, like, air […]

Unger Suspicion

Vancouver Heat Wave Blamed On Hot Air From Abbotsford

June 27, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC As blistering temperatures rock the West Coast, Vancouverites are desperate to find a plausible explanation for this abnormal heat wave. It seems like they’ve finally discovered the source. “The hot air is believed […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Gets His Kicks on Route 606

June 23, 2021 Andrew

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK Mr. Bender has strayed a long way from home this summer and embarked on totally epic trip down the world famous Route 606. “I got my horses running, I head out on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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