Shenandoah Valley Erupts in Chaos After Sarcastic Comment is Posted Without a Smiley Face


The Shenandoah Valley is in chaos this week, after Mr. Gerber posted a sarcastic comment on Facebook and failed to indicate his sarcasm with a smiley face emoji.

“All I said was that maybe that young Mr. Martin could play his drums in church one Sunday,” said Mr. Gerber. “Obviously I was kidding, but things just got out of control after that.”

Mr. Gerber also made allegedly sarcastic comments about Mr. Funk’s sausages that, without the smiley face, were also taken at face value.

“I would never disparage Mr. Funk’s sausage. It’s top quality!” said Mr. Gerber. “That’s the last time I comment without a smiley face.”

Mr. Gerber has also been accused of sending a flirtatious text message to Mrs. Good, though this, too, he claims was sarcasm.

“I don’t mean to cause any trouble,” said Mr. Gerber. “I guess I’ll just have to keep my mouth shut from now on.”

Mr. Gerber says he plans to post all future comments with a frowny face emoji, since that’s much more authentically Mennonite anyway.

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