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The Daily Bonnet

8 Mennonite Families from Mexico Establish New Colony on Moon

April 1, 2026 Andrew

CAMPO 606, MOON More than 50 years after the Englishers did it, 8 Mennonites families from Mexico have finally landed on the moon, where they quickly established their most remote colony yet. “That’s one small […]

The Daily Bonnet

Astronauts Return to Earth After 9 Months Trapped in Conversation at Mennonite Couple’s Doorway

March 18, 2025 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Butch and Suni have finally returned home, after nine long months trapped in conversation at the Klassen’s doorway in the tiny Mennonite town of Rosthern, Saskatchewan. “There’s always a risk when you send […]

Unger Conviction

Felix Manz, Forgotten Second Rebaptizer, Declared “Buzz Aldrin” of the Anabaptists

January 22, 2025 Andrew

ZURICH, SWITZERLAND In the Mennonite world, absolutely everyone knows the name of George Blaurock, the first person to get rebaptized way back in 1525. We all sat around our television sets as he ventured into […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Sets Off Rocket After Calling the Kids in for “Launch”

August 20, 2023 Andrew

PINECRAFT, FL Mrs. Kroeker was vacationing with the family in Florida this week, when she inadvertently launched a rocket ship over in Cape Canaveral. “Oba, I was just calling in the kids for launch yet,” […]

Unger Suspicion

Church Elders Launch Powerful ‘James Wiebe Telescope’ to Keep An Eye on Misbehaving Mennonites

July 28, 2022 Andrew

SPACE The recently launched James Wiebe Telescope has stunned the world with images of Mennonites even more remarkable than those found in the work of renowned photographer Larry Towell. “We’re finally able to see the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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