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Unger Suspicion

Facebook Hires Nosy Mennonite Women to Collect Data on Users

April 15, 2018 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg announced Friday that he would be hiring Mrs. Edna Martens, 71, of Reinland, Manitoba and her nine spinster sisters to obtain as much information as they could on […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mannanites are Feeling Vary Blast This Time of Year Yet

December 15, 2017 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Mannanites across western Canada have been sharing #blast memes throughout the holiday season this year yet. “Like and share if you’re feeling sea gut and blast dis year,” said Mrs. Petkau of […]

Unger Conviction

Distracted Texting Millennial Accidentally Walks Into Church

September 24, 2017 Andrew

ABBOTSFORD, BC While most jurisdictions have enacted legislation to curb distracted driving, the problem of texting and walking still remains. The dangers of such a practice became all too real for area woman Alana Foster, […]

Unger Conviction

Why the Church Lobby is Even Better than Tinder!

September 20, 2017 Andrew

BY: MISS SAMANTHA YODER The dating game is tough these days. A lot of my girlfriends have resorted to going online to find a suitable partner, but I maintain that you can never beat your […]

Unger Suspicion

Twitter Mourns the Loss of Jerry Lee Lewis

August 20, 2017 Andrew

FERRIDAY, LA There was an outpouring of grief for rock and roll legend Jerry Lee Lewis, who, according to reliable sources on Twitter, passed away last night at the age of 91. “The man was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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