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Unger Suspicion

World Health Organization Bans Reading Internet Comments

August 24, 2019 Andrew

GENEVA, SWITZERLAND A new study from the World Health Organization has revealed a new number one killer around the world: reading online comments. In 2018 alone, comment-reading was known to have caused more than two […]

The Daily Bonnet

New FaceApp Just Makes Everyone Look Like a Mennonite

July 18, 2019 Andrew

ST. PETERSBURG, RUSSIA A popular new social media app called FaceApp allows people to add wrinkles, grey hair, and a long beard to see what they’ll look like decades into the future. “Basically they’re turning […]

The Daily Bonnet

Someone Put the Girl Filter on Famous Mennonites….

May 15, 2019 Andrew

Ever wondered what Menno Simons would look like as a woman? Well, you have to wonder no more. Thanks to Snapchat’s ridiculous new filter, you can find out what anyone would look like with, ugh, […]

Unger Conviction

Church Accountability Group Keeps Men From Saying Stupid Stuff on the Internet

April 2, 2019 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new measure at the local Mennonite church seeks to address every man’s secret temptation: saying stupid stuff on the Internet. The program, which places men in accountability partnerships, encourages local men to […]

Unger Suspicion

Facebook Crashes; Millions of People Actually Get Shit Done

March 13, 2019 Andrew

MENLO PARK, CA There was a surge in productivity across the globe today as Facebook and Instagram experienced unprecedented down time. “I can’t believe all the shit I got done today,” said local credit union […]

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