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Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Releases Brand New List of Sins for 2022

March 8, 2022 Andrew

AYLMER, ON Mennonites have been marking this day on their calendar for months – the day when their local church releases the new list of sins for the year. “The kids, especially, are really excited. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Satirist Shunned After Appearing on Television

January 4, 2022 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB An unphotoshopped photo of Mennonite satirist and longtime Steinbach resident Andrew Unger has surfaced on Reddit this week, apparently showing the writer on a television show of some sort. “Oba, we’ve kicked people […]

Unger Conviction

10 Totally Bogus Religious Exemptions You Can Demand Right Now!

October 29, 2021 Andrew

Got a pebble in your shoe? Is something irking or irritating you? Are you looking for a totally bogus religious exemption? Well, you’ve come to the right place! As of today, I’m officially declaring the […]

Unger & Thirst

Liquor Stores See Huge Surge in Mennonite Customers

April 27, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Now that it’s become de rigueur to wear face masks or lower-than-normal düaks all over the place, Mennonites have been venturing into establishments they never would have even considered back when they might […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Church Allows Dancing Now that Everyone Has to Keep Six Feet Apart

March 25, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Given the circumstances, even the strictest Mennonite churches have decided to relax the rules when it comes to dancing. Pastor Tom has decreed that since everyone has to keep six feet apart […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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