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The Daily Bonnet

With Toilet Paper in Short Supply, Mennonites Resort to Eaton’s Catalogues Once Again

April 2, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB While thousands of Canadians are panicked these days due to a short supply of toilet paper, Mennonites, on the other hand, haven’t been fazed by the shortage at all. “Well, it looks like […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Mall Offering Free Stretcher Service for Shoppers During Holiday Season

December 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Beginning with Black Friday and ending on Christmas Eve, the Frosty Shores Mall in Winnipeg will be offering customers free gift wrapping, parking validation, and an escort out of the building on a […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Flock to Get their Hands on $65 Elton John T-Shirts

October 5, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Mennonites were crowding the hallways at the Bell MTS Place last night to get their hands on some $65 Elton John T-Shirts. “Oba, yo! Oh, look, a hoodie for $125 and for just […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Attends Funerals Just for All the Free Food

September 29, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mrs. Doerksen has a busy funeral schedule this week attending all the funerals of people with whom she had only marginal acquaintance. “It’s a good place to stock up on cheese curds and […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Woman Waters Down Her Ketchup to Make it Last

September 22, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOF, MB Mrs. Plett decided to add three cups of water to her bottle of ketchup and “bring that stuff back to life.” The practice of watering down ketchup has strong roots in the Mennonite […]

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