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Unger Suspicion

“Fearless” Man Refuses to Wear a Mask But Absolutely Petrified to Enter a Grocery Store Without His Gun

August 25, 2020 Andrew

SEMINOLE, TX Mr. Janzen, 41, of Seminole, laughs every time he sees those “sheeple” wearing their silly masks all over the place. Janzen is a very brave man who trusts only in the Lord and […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Spends All Afternoon Stuck in Line Behind Some Guy Buying Lotto Tickets

August 17, 2020 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Mrs. Froese decided to throw on her mask, hop in her Buick, and stop by at her neighbourhood convenience store for a few things. However, little did she know that her trip to […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Karen Demands to Speak to Thrift Store Manager

July 18, 2020 Andrew

NEUBERGNORT, MB A local Karen is very upset over the “outrageous” prices at her Neubergnort Self Help and is demanding to speak to the manager right this minute or else she’s filing a complaint with […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Makes Matching Outfits for the Entire Family

July 9, 2020 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Mrs. Wall of Swift Current stopped by at the local fabric store this week and took home enough material to make the entire family matching outfits. “Na ya, these are going to […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘Free Cotton Swab’ Giveaway Has Mennonites Lined Up for Blocks

June 15, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Mennonites across northern Saskatchewan were super excited when they heard about this brand new trajchtmoaka in the city who was handing out ‘free cotton swabs’ to anyone and everyone who showed up asking. “Oba, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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