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Unger Suspicion

Putin Promises to Use “Withdrawal Method”

January 30, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Russian leader Vladimir Putin has reassured the global community that he plans to employ the “tried and true withdrawal method” during his upcoming Ukraine incursion. “Our best scientists have tested this method very […]

The Daily Bonnet

Lucky Mennonite Man Has Meddachschlop on a Wednesday

November 19, 2021 Andrew

ROSTHERN, SK Wilbert Goossen of Rosthern broke centuries of Mennonite tradition this week by having meddachschlop in the middle of the week. “Usually, Linda lays down with me for a meddachschlop on Sunday afternoon, and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Discovers Where Babies Come from Just a Little Too Late

October 1, 2021 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Newlyweds Anne and Peter Krahn of the La Crete area quickly discovered where babies come from after a weekend at the Days Inn and a half bottle of Crown Royal. “Oba, so […]

Unger Suspicion

Newlyweds Excited to Rip Each Other’s Masks Off in the Hotel Room Later Today

September 15, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Allan Wiebe and Lydia Brandt were married at the EMCB church this afternoon and are excited to rip off their masks at the Days Inn after the reception. “We started dating last spring, […]

The Daily Bonnet

The Seven Hottest Mennonite Sex Positions

February 14, 2021 Andrew

Need to spice up your love life? Look no further than the Mennonites! It’s the worst kept secret in the world: Mennonites are near the top when it comes to love-making. How else do you […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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