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The Daily Bonnet

7 Naughty Mennonite Emojis (and What They Really Mean)

February 6, 2021 Andrew

These days you have to be careful when you’re using emojis. You don’t want to unintentionally seduce the pastor’s son. In order to aid clear and concise communication, the Daily Bonnet has created this handy […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonites Really Excited About New Pfizer Product

November 16, 2020 Andrew

TABER, AB Word of a new 90% effective Pfizer product has caused quite the stir in Mennonite communities across North America today. “Wow, this’ll really do wonders on our meddachschlop life,” said Mrs. Kliewer. “Lord knows, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Naejenpundjet Mennonitenbabie word derjch een Wunda dree Moonat verre Tiet jebuare.

November 4, 2020 Andrew

ALTONA, MB Bloos sass Moonat nohdem Peeeta enn Elvira Dertjze sich enne Altona MCMB Tjoatj befriet haude, erlaewd daut Poah derjch een Wunda dee Jeburt von aehrem easchtjebuarnen Saehn Timothy. “Wie send bloos soo frooh, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Co-Workers Caught Having Meddachschlop in the Photocopy Room

June 10, 2020 Andrew

MORDEN, MB The rumours about that Thiessen boy and that Klassen girl were confirmed to be true this week after Mrs. Wiebe unlocked the photocopy room and found the two of them having a nice […]

Unger Suspicion

The Top Ten Best Pandemic Pick-Up Lines

May 5, 2020 Andrew

The pandemic is certainly making things more difficult, romance-wise. I think we’re all grateful we won’t have to attend any weddings this summer, but it would be nice to at least know there are some […]

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