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seniors

Unger Games

Winnipeg Jets Sign Mennonite Senior to Bring Some Youth to the Team

January 19, 2026 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB The Winnipeg Jets have signed Mr. Plett, 84, of Bethlehem Place to bring some much needed youth and agility to their aging lineup. “I lot of people can’t figure out what’s gone wrong […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonite Seniors Confuse Lobby Cam for OnlyFans

December 13, 2023 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK It seems that Smiling Menno Manor in Saskatoon just got their very own OnlyFans channel. Contractors just installed a camera in the lobby, which really had residents excited about the possibilities. “Just this […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Seniors Rush to Grab Free Eggplants in Lobby

October 10, 2023 Andrew

ALTONA, MB As soon as the residents of Golden Mennos Retirement Home saw on their lobby-cams that someone had dropped off free eggplants, there was a wild dash to the lobby. “Argh, Mrs. Kroeker always […]

The Daily Bonnet

Aging Mennonites Switch from Dutch Blitz to Skip Bo

May 1, 2022 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK After years of wearing out their finger joints playing Dutch Blitz, Mr. and Mrs. Unger of Saskatoon have decided to “take things easy a little and play Skip Bo from now on.” “It’s […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man is Literally ‘Older than Sliced Bread’

March 11, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Sliced bread was introduced to the market in 1928. This makes Mr. Peter Wiebe, 93, of Winkler literally “older than sliced bread.” “Oba, I’m older than sliced bread and my wife Annie is […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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