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seniors

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Forced to Winter in Canada this Year

October 14, 2020 Andrew

TORONTO, ON For the first time in almost a hundred years, millions of Canadians will be forced to suffer through one of their own winters. “Diewel, if I had known it was this bad, I’d […]

The Daily Bonnet

Parking Lot at Mennonite Retirement Home Completely Filled with Honda CR-Vs

September 14, 2020 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Both the surface lot and the underground parkade at Happy Menno adult living complex in Winkler were completely filled with Honda CR-Vs this weekend. “It was a sea of grey, white and blue […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Men to Hold Bi-Weekly Schnettje-Konferenz on the Corner of Main and Reimer

December 14, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Mr. Peters and Mr. Dueck have rolled down the windows of their rusty F-150s and are shooting the breeze and holding up traffic at the Main and Reimer intersection this week. “Oba, Harry, […]

Unger Conviction

Young Mennonite Yells ‘OK Boomer’ During Pastor’s Sermon

November 14, 2019 Andrew

HUTCHINSON, KS Pastor Dave at South Hutchinson Mennonite was right in the middle of extolling the virtues of long dresses and suspenders, when Alexis Pankratz, 22, rolled her eyes and yelled “ok, boomer!” as loud […]

The Daily Bonnet

Local Man Turns 40, or 65 in ‘Mennonite Years’

November 9, 2019 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Local man Andy Unrau turned 40 this weekend, though he was not nearly as eager to celebrate the occasion as one might expect. “If you do the math, that’s 65 in Mennonite years,” […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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