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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Claims Using Turn Signal is a “Violation of Privacy”

November 6, 2021 Andrew

CALGARY, AB Local man Wilmer Peters, 68, has been driving around Calgary for decades without ever using his turn signal, which he claims is a violation of his privacy. “I don’t need people looking over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Enns Family Gets Their Own Special Crossing

September 27, 2019 Andrew

KLEINSTADT, MB The tiny Mennonite village of Kleinstadt, Manitoba has just unveiled a series of road crossings intended to serve the crossing needs of the Enns family. “There are so many Ennses around here, we […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman Bravely Opts to Forgo Candle Drip-Guard

December 24, 2018 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN Brave Mrs. Allison Koop, 41, decided to toss away the paper candle-wax guard during tonight’s Christmas Eve service. Koop is widely regarded as the toughest woman in Mountain Lake for her ability […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Town Bans Using Turn Signals

January 30, 2018 Andrew

NEUSCHANZENBACH, MB In an effort to stave off encroaching worldliness, the small Mennonite town of Neuschanzenbach has banned the use of turn signals, driving with the headlights on, and shoulder-checking before changing lanes. The new […]

The Daily Bonnet

Horseshoes-Related Injuries Soar in 2017

June 1, 2017 Andrew

MARCHAND, MB After a slow summer last year with less than twenty concussions and two fatalities, the number of horseshoes-related injuries has soared to record heights in Manitoba this spring. If the pace continues, it […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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