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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Shames Restaurant by Weighing Farmer Sausage to Prove it’s Underweight

August 1, 2021 Andrew

GRUENHIMMEL, SK Mr. Harder was aghast at the minuscule portion size of farmer sausage he received at a local Mennonite restaurant in Blummenhimmel this week and immediately asked to speak to the manager. “I’ve been […]

Unger & Thirst

City’s Top Chef Mortified to Discover His ‘Charcuterie Board’ is Just Glorified Faspa

May 21, 2021 Andrew

VANCOUVER, BC The chef at Vancouver’s top restaurant has been feeding the city’s elite for years with his delectable selection of charcuterie. Unfortunately, chef Pierre’s ego took a big hit this weekend after a trip […]

Unger & Thirst

Steinbach’s Mary Browns Can’t Figure Out Which One of them Opened that New Restaurant

May 22, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB More than two dozen Mary Browns from the Steinbach area gathered in the parking lot out by Walmart today trying to figure out which one of them was responsible for this new chicken […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Man Leaves Generous Tip of Two Gospel Tracts

March 5, 2020 Andrew

KIDRON, OH A waitress at a coffee shop in Kidron was excited by the generous tip left by one of her patrons this morning. After ordering two slices of toast and a glass of orange […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Up Rival Cheesesteak Shop Right Between Pat’s and Geno’s

November 20, 2019 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Residents of South Philadelphia have strong opinions about who makes the best cheesesteak, Pat’s or Geno’s. Fans are so passionate about their cheesesteaks that the occasional fight is known to break out between […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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