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Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Couple Enjoys Romantic Late Night Supper at 4:30 in the Afternoon

September 3, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Mr. and Mrs. Schroeder were really excited that they somehow managed to snag a reservation at the local Mexican restaurant at the prime time of 4:30 in the afternoon. “I can’t believe it […]

Unger & Thirst

Everyone’s Grandma is the Very Best Cook in the Entire World

August 30, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON A report out of the University of Kitchener this week confirms what everyone knew all along that their own grandma is the “very best cook in the entire world.” “We tested the cooking […]

Unger & Thirst

Fast Food Chain Sells Farmer Sausage Filled with 80% Sawdust

January 26, 2019 Andrew

BLUMENHOCH, MB A new Mennonite fast food chain has been caught cutting corners by filling their farmer sausage mostly with sawdust. “It seems they’re taking notes from their fast food competitors,” said local food critic […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Celebrates Anniversary By Ordering the Cheapest Thing on the Menu

August 24, 2018 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK The Rempels from over in Herschel drove into the city this week to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary in style by ordering the very cheapest items on the menu at Tony Roma’s. “Oba, […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Man Drives 20 Miles Before Realizing McDonald’s Drive-Thru Didn’t Give Him Any Ketchup

August 20, 2018 Andrew

HIGHWAY 44, MB Winnipeg man Richard Giesbrecht, 47, was well on his way to Whitemouth Lake this weekend before he realized that, once again, the McDonald’s drive-thru had failed to provide him with any ketchup. […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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