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pennsylvania

The Daily Bonnet

Hipsters Forced to Cut Off Beards After Violating Pennsylvania Mennonite Patent

October 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Thousands of hipsters across the United States will be forced to shave off their beards at the end of this month after a Pennsylvania court ruled these beards a “clear violation” of a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Hides Geocache in Church to Attract New Members

March 19, 2018 Andrew

AKRON, PA In an attempt to be more “missional” and attract new members, Pastor Dave of West Akron Mennonite planted five cleverly hidden geocaches in his church this past Sunday. “It worked out great. We […]

The Daily Bonnet

Hymn 606 Declared Official State Song of Indiana

November 23, 2017 Andrew

INDIANAPOLIS, IN Indiana Governor Eric Holcomb took time this Thanksgiving to unveil “Hymn 606” as the official state song of the Hoosier State. “Out in Goshen and Elkhart they’re singing this all the time anyway,” […]

The Daily Bonnet

10 Dutch Blitz Rules You Probably Didn’t Know About

November 13, 2017 Andrew

As Mennonites, we all play Dutch Blitz, but often the rules vary from family to family. Unfortunately, all Dutch Blitz rulebooks were lost sometime in the mid-1970s. I think it might’ve been during that extended […]

Unger Suspicion

Frat Boys Disappointed with Visit to Intercourse, Pennsylvania

August 17, 2017 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Dozens of lecherous Pennsylvania frat boys are upset and considering litigation after a visit to the small Amish town of Intercourse did not go as expected. “I truly feel like we were misled,” […]

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