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pennsylvania

The Daily Bonnet

Intercourse, Pennsylvania to be Renamed Abstinence, Pennsylvania

February 20, 2020 Andrew

ABSTINENCE, PA The tiny Mennonite village of Intercourse, Pennsylvania has had a wildly inappropriate name for quite some time now and area residents are finally ready for a change. “People are coming here for all […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Amasses World’s Largest Collection of Beverly Lewis Books

February 5, 2020 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA Mrs. Beiler, 68, of Lancaster has been a diehard Beverly Lewis aficionado for the past twenty years and during that time has amassed a collection of more than ten-thousand soft cover Amish romance […]

The Daily Bonnet

Yoder Shortage Leads to Unrest in Lancaster County

November 29, 2019 Andrew

LANCASTER, PA A late summer drought this year has led to a dramatic shortage of Yoders this harvest season and civil unrest in Lancaster County. “I don’t like to say anything negative, but those Yoders […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Sets Up Rival Cheesesteak Shop Right Between Pat’s and Geno’s

November 20, 2019 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA Residents of South Philadelphia have strong opinions about who makes the best cheesesteak, Pat’s or Geno’s. Fans are so passionate about their cheesesteaks that the occasional fight is known to break out between […]

The Daily Bonnet

“Mock us, please!” Pennsylvania Mennonites Demand Equal Treatment by the Daily Bonnet

November 15, 2019 Andrew

INTERCOURSE, PA Thousands of Pennsylvania Mennonites petitioned the Daily Bonnet this week to be “more inclusive” of their particular idiosyncrasies that they claim are just ripe for mockery. “That website is far too Canadian!” yelled […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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