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pandemic

Unger Suspicion

Meet Lisa, the One Person in All of Manitoba Who Doesn’t Have Covid Right Now

April 30, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Lisa, a third-year Mennonite Studies student from Winnipeg has recently been discovered as the only person in the entire province who doesn’t have Covid right now. “My cousin Sam has it, all of […]

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Maskers Mistake The Forks for Steinbach

April 25, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Thousands of pro-plague protestors gathered at The Forks in Winnipeg this afternoon under the mistaken impression they were actually in Steinbach. “Ahh, it’s great to be here in Steinbach again,” said pro-plague leader […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple ‘Devastated’ after Narrowly Missing Registration Deadline for Church this Sunday

April 24, 2021 Andrew

YARROW, BC Pamela and Thomas Bueckert of Yarrow, BC put off registering for church on this lovely Sunday morning just long enough that all the spots were taken and they had to spend their morning […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Family Looking Forward to Delightful Illegal Gathering this Easter

April 1, 2021 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, MB Plans are already in the works for a delightfully illegal Easter this year. The Hiebert family of Schratjlijch, Manitoba, for example, have been dutifully shopping, cooking, and otherwise preparing for their first illegal […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandma Knits Cozy Warm Woolen Covid Masks

March 27, 2021 Andrew

NIAGARA-ON-THE-LAKE, ON Grandma Stobbe and 4/5ths of the Stobbe tauntes have been keeping themselves busy this past winter by knitting delightful wool covid masks for all their frintschoft. “Oh, dank, Oma, I love it!” said […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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