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Unger Suspicion

Philadelphia Flyers Shore Up Blue Line By Signing Patriarch Kirill of Moscow

January 19, 2023 Andrew

PHILADELPHIA, PA In a surprise move this afternoon, the Broad Street Bullies have inked Patriach Kirill of Moscow to play alongside Ivan Provorov and Gritty on the blue line. “We felt that young Provorov just […]

Unger Suspicion

Regina and Saskatoon Merge to Attract IKEA and a Hockey Team

January 16, 2023 Andrew

RESASKAGINA, SK Two medium-sized cities in Saskatchewan some 300 kms apart are planning to merge into one slightly larger city in an effort to attract an IKEA and maybe even an NHL team. “We can […]

Unger Games

Ovechkin Gifts Putin with Record-Setting Puck

December 27, 2022 Andrew

MOSCOW, RUSSIA Just moments after an empty net goal put him second all-time in career goals, Capitals star Alexander Ovechkin tossed the historic puck into a manila envelope, slapped on a couple stamps, and mailed […]

Unger Games

Empty Net Really Proud to Be Part of Ovechkin’s Historic Moment

December 25, 2022 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB An empty net from Winnipeg, Manitoba will forever be in the NHL record books after being scored on by Alexander Ovechkin, who moves to number 2 all time. “I have to admit that […]

Unger Suspicion

“No, thanks!” Don Plett Rejects Ryan Reynolds’ Offer to Purchase Ottawa Senators

November 9, 2022 Andrew

LANDMARK, MB Rumours have swirled for weeks that Hollywood actor Ryan Reynolds is attempting to buy up all the Ottawa senators, but at least one member of the upper house objects to the plan. “I’m […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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