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Unger Games

Toronto Maple Leafs Announce Plans to Relocate to Las Vegas

June 13, 2023 Andrew

LAS VEGAS, NV After decades without a Stanley Cup, the Toronto Maple Leafs have finally come up with a plan that will guarantee them a victory in the near future – moving to Las Vegas. […]

Unger Games

Meet the Plett Brothers: The Last Remaining Fans Still Watching the NHL this Season

May 22, 2023 Andrew

TABER, AB After searching long and hard all across the country, researchers have found two Mennonite dudes who apparently didn’t know hockey was over for the season. The two remaining hockey fans are Jeremy Plett, […]

Unger Games

Jets Disgusted After Disgusting Performance Leads Coach to be Disgusted

April 30, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB After a disgustingly quick exit from the NHL playoff, the Winnipeg Jets players are absolutely disgusted to discover their own coach was disgusted with their disgusting performance. “I’m absolutely disgusted that he’d call […]

Unger Games

Toews Plays Final Game for Chicago

April 15, 2023 Andrew

CHICAGO, IL There was a standing ovation in Chicago this week after former Canadian cabinet minister Vic Toews played his final game for the local NHL squad. “He didn’t score a lot of points in […]

Unger Games

Unworn James Reimer ‘Pride’ Jersey Turned into Lovely Mennonite Quilt

March 20, 2023 Andrew

FRESNO, CA The quilting club at the Fresno First and Last Mennonite Church received an anonymous donation of fabric this past week, which they immediately set out to fashioning into a wonderful new quilt. “I […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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