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The Daily Bonnet

Area Couple Names Newborn Daughter ‘Abe’

June 16, 2016 Andrew

SCHOENHORST, MB Colin and Evelyn Harder, of the Shoenhorst area, have decided to name their newborn daughter ‘Abe’ to give her a fighting chance of getting a decent job when she’s older. “It’s too bad we […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Couple Names Children After Really Obscure Old Testament Characters

June 2, 2016 Andrew

MILFORD, NE Tired of common Bible names like Mary, Jacob, Abraham, and Rebecca, local Mennonite couple, Mr. and Mrs. Jacob R. Miller have named each of their eleven children after lesser-known Bible characters. “Just way […]

The Daily Bonnet

Chris Goertzen and Kelvin Goertzen Still Insist They’re Not Brothers

May 26, 2016 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Despite the fact that Steinbach, Manitoba is home to the largest concentration of Goertzens in the world, Chris Goertzen, mayor of Steinbach, and Kelvin Goertzen, local MLA, are having a hard time convincing area […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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