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music

Unger Conviction

Presence of Rock Band in Elkhart Sparks Fiery Theological Debate

November 2, 2023 Andrew

ELKHART, IN When word got out that legendary Canadian rock band The Guess Who was playing the small Mennonite town of Elkhart, Indiana this weekend, students at Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary gathered to debate the […]

Unger Games

Canadian Swifties Demand Taylor Date at Least One CFL Star

September 25, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON After word got out that Taylor Swift was dating NFL star Travis Kelce, north-of-the-border Swifties are demanding that she “stop ignoring our league.” “What has she got against Canadian football? There’s a lot […]

Unger Suspicion

50 Cent and Nickelback Team Up to Offer 45 Cent Concert Tickets

September 16, 2023 Andrew

HANNA, AB Rapper 50 Cent and rockers Nickelback are embarking on a cross-continent co-headlining concert tour with prices at just 45 cents a ticket. “We’re going to visit all the small town fall suppers this […]

Unger Suspicion

Bargain-Hungry Mennonites Fill Arena for 50 Cent Concert

September 13, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Early estimates indicate “more than half of Winkler” is at the 50 Cent concert in Winnipeg tonight. Never wanting to pass up a bargain, even Winkler’s staunchest country fans were persuaded to take […]

Unger Suspicion

Taylor Swift Announces Massive Countrywide Tour of Toronto

August 3, 2023 Andrew

TORONTO, ON The prayers of Swifties across Canada have been answered this week after Taylor Swift announced a 6-date cross-country tour of the Rogers Centre in Toronto. “We’re sending our tunes all across the nation, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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