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Unger Suspicion

Jason Aldean Releases Controversial New Song “Try That In A Small Mennonite Town”

July 22, 2023 Andrew

LAIRD, SK Following in the tradition of anti-protest-protest songs like “Oskie from Muskogee,” bro-country superstar Jason Aldean has just released a brand new song that describes the passive aggressive response one might face in a […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Pastor Enters Sanctuary Hidden in a Broom Cart

June 28, 2023 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN The rumours are true. Video footage confirms this week that Mountain Lake’s most popular pastor Tyler Schmidt sneaks into the sanctuary each Sunday hidden in a broom cart. “Tyleeeeer! Tyleeeer!” screamed Mountain […]

Unger Suspicion

Mennonites Flock to Nickelback Concert to Collect their 5 Cents

June 23, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB When word got out that Nickelback was in town, thousands of Mennonites flocked to the arena in Winnipeg this week to collect their refund. “I heard this is the place to get my […]

Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Brings Shame to the Entire Friesen Clan by Clapping Between Movements

May 19, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Area man Dan Friesen, 51, sullied the good name of the Friesens this week after clapping between movements during a performance of the Manitoba Chamber Orchestra. “Well, pardon me for showing my appreciation […]

Unger Suspicion

Collective Soul Play Casino Just to Make their Fans Feel Old

April 19, 2023 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB 90s rockers Collective Soul will be playing Club Regent Casino in Winnipeg this summer in an attempt to make all their fans feel “really freakin’ old.” “Hey, honey, did you see Collective Soul […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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