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money

The Daily Bonnet

New Vertical Money Confuses Mennonite Man

August 9, 2019 Andrew

NIVERVILLE, MB Mr. Wiens of Niverville has recently started a campaign to get the new ten dollar bills “put back the right way” after, for the life of him, he just couldn’t figure out how […]

Unger Conviction

Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need

July 13, 2019 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A local couple, the Penners, has filed a complaint against Pastor Dan for not visiting them as much as Mrs. Wiebe who’s been stricken with a terminal illness and Mr. Plett who’s been […]

Unger & Thirst

Manitoba Woman Totally Baffled by ‘Honour System’ in Kitchener

July 11, 2019 Andrew

KITCHENER, ON Mrs. Unrau of Winnipeg was visiting friends in southern Ontario who insisted the local butter tarts at City Café Bakery were even better than what she could get back home. “I must say, […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Scores Historic Victory on ‘Jeopardy!’

June 5, 2019 Andrew

CULVER CITY, CA Mrs. Lina Dueck, 31, outwitted Abe Hiebert this past week, ending Abe’s reign of more than 30 games to become the new Jeopardy! champion. “He made a risky gamble on that hog […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Sells His Toronto Raptors Seat to Buy $400,000 Combine

May 28, 2019 Andrew

TORONTO, ON It was an offer he couldn’t refuse. When Mr. Wiens was offered almost half a million dollars for his court-side seat to Thursday’s game one of the NBA Finals in Toronto, it was […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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