Affluent Attention-Starved Couple Lodges Complaint Against Pastor for Not Visiting them as Often as Actual People in Need


A local couple, the Penners, has filed a complaint against Pastor Dan for not visiting them as much as Mrs. Wiebe who’s been stricken with a terminal illness and Mr. Plett who’s been struggling ever since his wife Bertha passed away in Fall.

“We’re big tithers and regular evening service attendees,” said Mrs. Penner. “If that doesn’t warrant a bi-weekly visit from the  pastor, I don’t know what does.”

The South Winkler Mennonite Church is home to more than 800 people, but for some reason the Penners think Pastor Dan should be spending extra time with them in particular.

“He could at least pop by for a beer after visiting dying people in the hospital,” said young Mr. Penner. “You know, he could even come during the day. I was born with a silver spoon, as they say, so I don’t really do much. He could join me for a round of golf every once in a while.”

Pastor Dan says he visits the Penners as often as he can, but takes seriously the biblical command to care for widows and orphans.

“The Penners are more than welcome to come with me on my visitations to the sick and needy,” said Pastor Dan.

Mr. Penner agreed to go so long as he didn’t have to touch any sick people and could bring along a vintage bottle of Chateau Lafite.

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