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modesty

Unger Suspicion

Anti-Pantsers Demand Their Constitutional Rights

September 13, 2021 Andrew

LEAMINGTON, ON Thousands of angry anti-pantsers invaded Leamington this week and decided to dine at local restaurants without sporting any bottoms whatsoever. “I’ve never had to use so much Lysol in all my life,” said […]

Unger Games

International Olympic Committee Requires All Athletes to Wear One of those Borat Mankinis

July 29, 2021 Andrew

TOKYO, JAPAN The lechers in charge of the International Olympic Committee are requiring all athletes, regardless of gender or sport, to wear one of those Borat mankinis or else face massive fines. “You wear what […]

The Daily Bonnet

Reopening Plan Allows Mennonites to Uncover their Ankles

June 21, 2021 Andrew

NORTH KILDONAN, MB There was much rejoicing in North Kildonan this week after the province announced plans to allow fully vaccinated Mennonites to walk around with their ankles exposed. “Oba, it’ll be such a relief,” […]

Unger & Thirst

“Immodest” Mennonite Woman Leaves Her Zwieback Out for All to See

August 30, 2020 Andrew

OSTERWICK, MB Residents of Osterwick were in shock this afternoon after a fresh and delectable zwieback baked by Mrs. Loewen was left out on the table in the church basement all afternoon. “It’s simply not […]

Unger Games

Modestly Attired Mennonite Women to Perform at Next Year’s Super Bowl Halftime Show

February 6, 2020 Andrew

TAMPA, FL After millions of Mennonites turned off their television sets (if they had them) and washed their eyes out with soap at this year’s Super Bowl, the NFL has announced that a choir of […]

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