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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves Back and Forth Between Canada and Mexico a Record 37 Times in a Single Week

July 18, 2022 Andrew

CAMPO TRES B, MEXICO Local man John Wiebe has just set a new Mennonite migration record by moving back and forth between Mexico and Canada 37 times in a single week. “I started in Winker […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Moves to Canada Just to Get World’s Most Expensive Internet

July 3, 2022 Andrew

LA CRETE, AB Guillermo Toews of Chihuahua moved all the way to northern Alberta this week just so he could have more reliable access to the world’s most expensive internet. “I love being taking advantage […]

Unger Suspicion

Controversial Politician Supports Mandatory Vacations

September 18, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB A controversial candidate in the Winkler area has come out in favour of mandatory vacations, a plan that shockingly includes vacations even for dairy farmers. “We have to think of the health of […]

The Daily Bonnet

Boats Full of “Persecuted Mennonite Refugees” Fleeing Trivial Nuisances in Canada

July 25, 2021 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Boat loads of Mennonite refugees are once again fleeing their homes for what they believe will be a much better life in the desert someplace where they don’t have to wear masks between […]

Unger & Thirst

Mexican Mennonite Woman Invites Friends Over for the Wrong Kind of Disco

March 6, 2021 Andrew

MANITOBA COLONY, MEXICO Mrs. Epp invited her friends over after church this week for what she thought would be a socially-distanced grilling of meat on a giant wok made from an old plow disc, but […]

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