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marriage

The Daily Bonnet

Spring Means Courting Season for Eligible Mennonites

March 22, 2017 Andrew

WINKLER, MB Ahhh, spring, the time of year to haul out the rubber boots and pick rocks out of the field…and possibly attract a suitor in the process. Yes, indeed, spring is courting season for Mennonites. […]

The Daily Bonnet

Man Disappointed with Russian Mennonite Mail Order Bride

March 11, 2017 Andrew

EDMONTON, AB After spending most of his life as a bachelor, 43-year-old Edmonton resident, Jeremy Robertson, decided to purchase a Russian mail order bride with the money he inherited from his Great Uncle Bobby. The bride, however, […]

Unger Conviction

Mennonite Woman to Become ‘Unequally Yoked’ With Lutheran Man

February 15, 2017 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The Penner and Richter families are pleased to announce the unequal yoking of their children Amanda and Paul this spring. The engagement was announced at a recent Penner family gathering to the sheer […]

The Daily Bonnet

Single Uncle Elmer Refuses to Date Women Who Wear Pants

February 11, 2017 Andrew

NEWTON, KS Uncle Elmer Jansen, 71, has been single his whole life for a variety of reasons, not the least of which is his absolute refusal to date women who wear pants or “Satan’s slacks” […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Wins Award for ‘Most Submissive Wife’

January 14, 2017 Andrew

BROTSCHULD, SK Local man Jakob T. Nikkel was awarded a trophy from the EMBBMC church for “having a submissive wife for a record fifty-five years.” “In all those years, she never once questioned my authority […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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