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labour day

The Daily Bonnet

Premier Goertzen Declares First Monday in September ‘Meddachschlop Day’

September 6, 2021 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB In his first order of business as new Manitoba premier, Steinbach MLA Kelvin Goertzen declared the first Monday in September to be ‘Meddachschlop Day.’ “Normally we’re only having a mid-afternoon nap on Sundays […]

The Daily Bonnet

Last Chance to Work on Your Farmer’s Tan this Weekend

September 4, 2020 Andrew

KENORA, ON Mennonites across the Canadian Prairies will be taken advantage of the long weekend to work on their farmer’s tans this weekend. It’s the last chance they have to do so until the cold […]

Unger Suspicion

Families Ripped Apart After Riders Fan Marries Bombers Fan

August 31, 2019 Andrew

SWIFT CURRENT, SK Local Penner and Wiebe gatherings will never be the same after Rider fan Julie Penner, 19, married Bomber fan Timothy Wiebe, 20, in a secret ceremony somewhere in rural Saskatchewan this afternoon. […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadians Honour Heritage of Labourious Spelling Today

September 4, 2017 Andrew

OUTTAWA, ON While our neighbours to the south take the day off today to celebrate the achievements of organized labour in a holiday known as ‘Labor Day,’ Canadians celebrate a completely different holiday called ‘Labour […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Man Works His Usual 18 Hours on Labour Day

September 5, 2016 Andrew

YARROW, BC Exhibiting the most extreme manifestation of the “Protestant work ethic,” local butcher Helmut Siemens of Yarrow spent every waking moment making farmer sausage this Labour Day. “I don’t take a day off unless it’s the […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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