Shutdown of Pipeline Affects Delivery of Schmaunt Fat Between Gretna and Winnipeg


For the past three months, Winnipegers have been starved for lack of schmaunt fat due to a pipeline shutdown with the supply centre in Gretna.

“We’ve got the students at MCI working around the clock on the project,” said pipeline spokesperson Elaine Wiebe. “They’re working hard but there are only so many hours in a day and, of course, we can’t expect them to miss choir practice.”

The students have been mixing cream, flour, and the drippings of farmer sausage, but the schmaunt fat drought has not been solved.

“It’s not a production problem,” said Wiebe. “It’s really just a matter of transportation. There are only so many ice cream pails fill of schmaunt fat we can fit in the period 3 English teacher’s Kia Soul.”

Winnipegers are eagerly hoping the pipeline is fixed soon, so they don’t have to rely on the inferior North Kildonan schmaunt fat.

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