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hymns

Unger Conviction

Congregation Shocked as Guitarist Snaps a G String

June 25, 2019 Andrew

SALEM, OR Parishioners at the South Salem Mennonite Church were in shock this last week after song leader and guitarist Miss Horsch lost her G string right in the middle of “10,000 Reasons.” “I’ve never […]

Unger Conviction

Long Lost Hymn 606 Discovered on Page 118

June 10, 2019 Andrew

HARRISONBURG, VA Mennonites are in celebration this week after a beloved hymn has been uncovered in a little used section of the hymnal. After a decade long investigation into the whereabouts of Hymn 606, investigators […]

Unger Conviction

“Hymn 606 is Over-rated,” Declares Mennonite Hipster

April 1, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Tyson Hendrix-Wiebe, a 22-year-old CMU student, caused quite a stir on social media this week after declaring Hymn 606 to be “like, totally, over-rated.” “All those people who claim they like 606 are […]

Unger Conviction

New Pill Cures Hymnal Dysfunction

January 2, 2019 Andrew

MOUNTAIN LAKE, MN As Mennonite men age, many of them experience a decreased ability to hold a hymnal upright during the service. Doctors in Mountain Lake say Hymnal Dysfunction affects one in three men over […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Children Excited to Be Able to Say “Ox and Ass” Without Punishment Today

December 25, 2018 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mennonite children around the globe are excited for that one day a year when they receive presents, eat chocolate, and can say the word “ass” with impunity, at least within the context of […]

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