Mennonite Man Leaves Church Early to “Check on the Smoker”


Local man Randy Baerg, 41, had to leave church early this past Sunday to check on his smoker. As soon Jack Froese and Billy Wiebe got word that Randy was scooching down the aisle toward his smoker, they, too, felt the sudden urge to get up and leave.

“Oh, excuse me, gotta go check on the brisket,” said Baerg. “Pardon me, Mrs. Ens, could I squeeze past you? I smoke my own meat, you know.”

Halfway through the service, Pastor Dan noticed that there was not a single man left in the sanctuary as they’d all left to check on their smokers.

“Speaking of which,” said Pastor Dan, putting down his Ryrie Study Bible. “Can you excuse me for a moment? I’ve got some pork butt on the go.”

Randy feels very proud of his ability to smoke his own meat, saying that only suckers chow down on someone else’s smoked meat.

“I’ve been smoking my own meat for literally days now,” said Randy. “And both Diane and I can assure you, from frequent experience, that Randy’s meat is more tender and juicy than any other tubular meat out there.”

After all the men left the service to check on their smokers, all the women packed up their things to go work on their marshmallow-based salads.

(photo credit: Eddie Welker/CC)

Mennonite Marriage Counselor Advises Cousins to Stay Together
Canadian Prime Minister Mistakes 'Trudope' for a Brand of Cannabis