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The Daily Bonnet

Frugal Manitobans Celebrate as Christmas Gatherings Banned this Year

November 11, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB It looks like frugal southern Manitobans will no longer have to worry about buying Barbies, Captain Underpants books and cheap blended whiskey for the relatives this year, as the maskless “freedom-fighters” among us have […]

The Daily Bonnet

Steinbach “Most Generous Community in Canada” Once Again After Surge in Covid Fines

November 9, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Steinbachers are known across Canada for their generosity, often topping the list of largest charitable donations per capita. This spirit of generosity appears to continue, this week, as thousands of Steinbachers have each […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Grandmas Hired to Lead National Contact Tracing Program

November 5, 2020 Andrew

SASKATOON, SK Oma Rempel of Saskatoon has just signed on to head the Canadian national contract tracing program. “We knew we had to go to the experts,” said Prime Minister Trudeau. “Plus no one could […]

Unger Suspicion

Golden Boy Tests Positive for Covid

November 2, 2020 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB According to a press conference held this afternoon, the Golden Boy that sits atop the Manitoba Legislative Building has just tested positive for Covid and will now be required to go into isolation […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Woman Turns Her Clock Back to 2019

November 1, 2020 Andrew

WATERLOO, ON Rather than going back just one hour, one local woman decided to move her clock back a whole year to a time before the complete dumpster fire that was 2020. “I figured, hey, […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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