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health

The Daily Bonnet

Doctor Shortage Finally Solved as Thousands of Medical Experts Appear Online

October 30, 2020 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB The doctor shortage in southern Manitoba has finally been solved as thousands of people in the area are now apparently fully-fledged medical experts. “We’ve seen a huge surge in medical expertise, not just […]

Unger Suspicion

Productivity Way Down as Canadians Spend All Day Refreshing Test Results Page

October 29, 2020 Andrew

CHILLIWACK, BC A new study out of the University of Chilliwack has attributed the entirety of Canada’s economic downturn to the fact that Canadians are spending all every day refreshing their Covid test result screens. […]

Unger & Thirst

Local Church to Host Weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’

October 16, 2020 Andrew

SCHRATJLIJCH, ON The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is spreading more than just the good news this week after Pastor Dave announced the congregation would be hosting a weekly ‘Superspreader Potluck’ starting this Sunday at 12:30 right […]

Unger Suspicion

White House Running Critically Low on Toilet Paper and Bleach

October 6, 2020 Andrew

WASHINGTON, DC Toilet paper and bleach supplies are running critically low at the White House this week after the “royal family” and all their staff came down with some mysterious condition that only toilet paper […]

Unger & Thirst

Mennonite Man Brings His Own Rogers To Be Covid Compliant

August 10, 2020 Andrew

WALDHEIM, SK In an effort to make sure he was compliant with all the government health advice, Mr. Letkeman, 52, of Waldheim brought his very own bottle of Rogers Golden Syrup for the annual Letkeman […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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