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The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Woman Demands Quackery be Covered By Provincial Health Insurance

November 26, 2019 Andrew

WINNIPEG, MB Local woman Mrs. Dueck, 57, of North Kildonan has racked up more than $15,000 over the past couple years in quackery bills and says it’s time the provincial government covers the cost. “They […]

Unger & Thirst

Feds to Open Forty New Safe Schmaunt Fat Injection Sites

November 21, 2019 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The federal government just announced this week a plan to open up more than forty supervised injection sites in Mennonite communities around the country. “We’re going to provide people with cottage cheese and […]

The Daily Bonnet

Mennonite Couple Accidentally Cancel Out Each Other’s Vote

October 21, 2019 Andrew

MITCHELL, MB The Hieberts stopped by at the polls during their lunch break today intent on doubling the power of their votes by casting their ballots for the same candidate. “Normally we discuss this ahead […]

Unger Suspicion

A Canadian Election Post that is Certain to Please Absolutely Everyone

October 20, 2019 Andrew

So, you’re having trouble figuring out who to vote for, eh? Well, here at the Daily Bonnet we’ve created this helpful tool to get things sorted out for you. If you click on the party […]

Unger Suspicion

Local Paper Candidate Asking for Your Vote on Monday

October 20, 2019 Andrew

KLEINESCHANTZENBERG, SK After a vigorous campaign that involved getting a name on a ballot and laying about on a desk for the next six weeks, the local Paper candidate is hoping for your vote on […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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