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garage sale

The Daily Bonnet

Mrs. Dueck Shows Up at 4 AM in Anticipation of 9 AM Garage Sale

May 5, 2022 Andrew

BLUMENORT, MB Mrs. Dueck parked her lawn chair outside the Schellenberg residence at 4 AM this Saturday morning in anticipation of the garage sale, which, according to the signs, begins at 9. “Gotta be first […]

The Daily Bonnet

A List of the Best Items Available at Mrs. Friesen’s Garage Sale This Weekend

September 15, 2018 Andrew

KRONSGART, MB One of the perks of writing the Daily Bonnet is that you get early access to garage sales. So, I’ve been scouting out all the local garage sales and I’m here to provide […]

Unger Suspicion

Canadian Government Spends $4.5 Billion on Old Useless Crap From Mrs. Penner’s Garage Sale

June 1, 2018 Andrew

OTTAWA, ON The Canadian government announced Tuesday that it would be spending more than four billion dollars of taxpayer money on purchasing “whatever useless crap those Mennonites have for sale at their garage sales this […]

The Daily Bonnet

‘State of Emergency’ Declared at Steinbach Garage Sale Riot

May 13, 2018 Andrew

STEINBACH, MB Prime Minister Trudeau has followed in his father’s footsteps and invoked the War Measures Act to deal with the increasing hostility during garage sales in the small Mennonite town of Steinbach, Manitoba. In […]

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SATIRICAL NEWS BY ANDREW UNGER

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