Mennonite Church Suspends Man 41 Weeks for Using Playing Cards

AYLMER, ON

Area man David Schmidt, 33, has been suspended from church until well into next summer for doing a card trick for his niece Jessica at a recent family gathering.

“Ugh, all I did is the old 52-card pickup trick,” explained Schmidt. “Little did I know some of my cousins are spies for the elder board. Looks like I won’t be in church for a while.”

Schmidt usages of playing cards was deemed “a step in the gambling direction” and, thus, totally inappropriate behaviour for a baptized member of Third Aylmer Extra-Mennonite Church.

“If he had used Rook cards or even Dutch Blitz cards, it would be a different matter altogether,” said Pastor Andreas. “But we can’t have people using queens and jokers and all that. And worst of all, think of the terrible influence he was on the children.”

The 41-week suspension is the longest ever handed out by the Extra-Mennonite Church, but Pastor Andrea warns the punishments could be even more severe in the future.

“We hear some folks are playing crokinole for money,” said Pastor Andreas. “Or betting on who can make the most twenties. Let me make it clear- any church member caught participating in such actives, will not be allowed to attend church for a full year.”

Upon hearing the pastor’s words, Schmidt says he’s going to try to do better next time and see if he can break his own suspension record.

(photo credit: Christopher Cook/CC)

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